Sunday, November 11, 2012

The Love Of My Life

God has given me the greatest gift I think that any man could be given. And that is the gift of an incredible wife. Without Rebekah things would be a mess. She has more patience and grace than I will ever come close to having.

Raising kids is a huge challenge. Some people think that staying at home all day with the kids is taking the easy way but that is not so. Rebekah does so much for the kids and her days are filled with taking care of the girls and doing projects and helping them learn and grow. It is such a blessing knowing that my kids are getting the best possible care and treatment while I am at work. Rebekah has the best mothering instincts too. She has a talent for knowing what the girls need and if she isn't sure what to do she researches and studies until we can make an educated decision about what do.

If the girls are having a fussy day or a bad day somehow she finds the strength to keep going. I get home form work some days and within an hour I am stress and frustrated with the girls but somehow Rebekah can deal with it all day long. I don't know how she does it and I couldn't do it without her.

I know that I am not always as helpful or as thankful as I should be. I try and help out with the girls and with the house work the best that I can but the little bit that I do is nothing compared to what she does. I work eleven hours a day and then come home and play with the girls and then usually do the dishes. She works around the clock, even in the middle of the night she has to feed Emerald and some nights Emerald keeps her awake most of the night.

I am so thankful that God has blessed me with such an amazing woman to love and care for me. She is always helping me grow closer to God and helping me be a better person. I know that we are perfect for each other and God is so good to us.

So if you have an amazing wife, don't forget to be thankful for her and remember the gift that God has given to you.

Rebekah, I love you with all my heart and I can't imagine life without you. You make me a better person and I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together discovering what God has for us!

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Misinterpreting Life

So, we have all had bad days, we have all had things go wrong, days that seem like everything is against us. I have days like that. Everything seems to fight me, everything that could go wrong does. It is easy to think that it is just bad luck, or maybe Satan is just trying to bring me down. I wonder why God is letting this happen, why it seem like He just lets me keep struggling. When will God come through for me? Lighten the load? Why can't things just go smoothly?

What if our struggles aren't some sort of attack or just a bad day? What if God is testing us, letting us fight through something so that we can know that we have what it takes. We can battle through the situation and come out stronger for it. Know that we can solve that problem or deal with that situation. Maybe we need to build our confidence for something else that is going to come our way. Something that we wouldn't have the courage to take on unless we already knew we had faced similar situations and been able to come out ahead.

God never said life would be easy. He wants us to grow and learn and become more like Him. We don't know what is coming next and maybe we need the experience and the knowledge from past struggles to be able to work perfectly in a situation where God needs us to step up and really make a difference. To change a life that we wouldn't otherwise be able to without those hard days of our own.

So let's try and look at life a little differently. Start asking God "How do You want me grow from this? What do You want me to learn?" Try not to get discouraged when a bad day or a tough project comes along. Look for what God is trying to show us about ourselves. Don't be afraid to find out if you have what it takes, and don't be afraid of failure either. Don't be to proud to ask for help. Sometimes there are things that we just don't know how to do without someone showing us the way.

It's all about perspective. Maybe we need to starting looking at life from a different angle. Try and see what might be going on behind the scenes. It is hard to see the big picture and we can't always know what God is trying to do. So before you get too frustrated, step back and see what we can learn and what God has for us in these tough times.

Friday, November 2, 2012

The Passion Of A Wounded Heart

Deep in my heart there is a passion that has been there for a long time. But right now it is almost gone. It is discouraged and nearly defeated. This blog is about what I am feeling and also a battle cry for myself. To not give up on what I love, to fight for what God has given me, and keep trying even if I never succeed.

I have been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching lately and that is what ultimately lead me to the realization that I am going to share with you. So let me start at the beginning.

I love music. I always have. Music has always been able to reach into my heart and stir my emotions. I love to worship through music, and I love to help lead people to a place of worship by playing my guitar. I love being in the presence of God, the way I feel His presence when I worship is the closest I ever feel to God. I long to play and sing and write music that will help other people feel what I feel and bring them to the feet of Jesus like they have never been before.

That is one of my hearts deepest longings, and that is where Satan has fought me the hardest. 

All my life I have known people who are amazingly gifted, people who can write and sing and play music in a way that I can only dream about. I play the guitar fairly well but it hasn't come easily. I have worked and practiced for hours and hours to be able to play the little bit that I can and there is always that little voice in my head telling me I will never be as good as they are. 

I have gotten so worn down by not feeling good enough that I haven't played my guitar in almost a year. But I  have realized that it doesn't matter if I am good enough, by my own standards or anyone else's either. If my daughter Mercedes sings me a song because she loves me I don't compare it to other people's songs. She is my daughter and she sang it for me and I love it because I love her. That is how God sees us.

So will I ever be good enough? Who cares! I love playing and worshiping and that is all that matters to God and that should be all that matters to me. If God wants me to share my music with others that is up to Him and He will work out the details. I am not going to let my passion be distinguished by fear of failure or rejection.

So find the desire of your heart and hold onto it. You never know how or when God is going to use it and that doesn't matter. What matters is that our Daddy loves us and He delights in what we give Him.